Hey, Soldier
by Ashe Corinthos
Summary: Ellet's interviewed most of Squad 7 by now... but it seems she's missed someone! Nosebleeds ensue!


Hi everyone! ^_^ So, my friend and I were going through Valkyria Chronicles, and we happened across Jann Walker, who is now one of your favorite characters. Here's a little short story starring him! Sorry if some of it doesn't match up to the game(s), I'll fix whatever gets messed up. :) Meant for funnies, not serious!  
Takes place in Valkyria Chronicles. (1)

* * *

Irene Ellet bites the tip of her ballpoint pen as she leans against a stone wall in Fort Amatriain. Today, her work had been going by ever so slowly. _Not a good story in sight,_ she thinks with a heavy sigh. _I've interviewed most of Squad 7, and they're the most popularly requested stories. What will I do if I can't find something as equally interesting as them? _

Flipping through her notebook, she glances down at the lists of names of the squad members. She marks off Marina Wulfstan, who had been her latest story. Her eyes scan the pages, waiting for a name that had yet to be marked off. _C'mon, there has to be at least one..._

It is then her blue eyes pause halfway through the page. It seems there _is _someone she missed. A man named Jann Walker. _Couldn't hurt to go ask him a few questions... _She decides. With that, she pushes away from the wall and sets off to hunt down the soldier.

* * *

Several hours of searching and questioning squad members later, Ellet finally manages to track down Jann Walker. He's examining his nails next to Isara, Welkin's younger sister. They seem to be in a heated discussion.

As Ellet walks towards them, she catches bits and pieces of their conversation;

" Are you sure, Isara? I thought red was more of my color!" Jann's strangely high voice rings out.

The Darcsen shakes her head. " Um, I think a clear coat, or perhaps a light sparkle would be better..." Her voice is quiet and shy in comparison.

" Hey guys!" Ellet says with a wide smile. " What's going on?"

Jann turns to Ellet, and she's surprised to see a light blush coating his cheeks and his lips glossy and pink. _I__s he... wearing makeup__?__! _" Oh, hey there!" He says cheerily. " Aren't you just the cutest thing! We were just discussing whether I look better with red nail polish or clear. " He pouts. " Not that it matters; the polish chips off too easy. "

Isara offers a small smile towards the journalist. " Hi Ellet. " She seems a bit uncomfortable.

" Mr. Walker, I wanted to ask you a few-" Ellet begins, but he cuts her off.

" Oh please, call me Jann!" The feminine soldier says. " No need to be formal with me!"

" Er, I needed to check with Welkin on a few things... I'll leave you two. " Isara says, and disappears before another word can be spoken.

Jann waves to Isara pleasantly then turns to Ellet. " So, what was it you wanted to ask?"

With a smile, Ellet starts with her first question. "Do you enjoy being part of this squad? "

The soldier looks horrified. " Of course I do! What kind of question is that? C'mon, give me the next one!" He says with passion.

" Err, o-kaaay..." Ellet says, swallowing. " How about, why you joined them? What made you join the ranks of the army?"

Jann's eyes take on a distant look. " Oh, hmm.. Well, It started when I was a young boy, and my dad joined the army. When I saw those muscly men in tight fitting armor, I knew then it was what I wanted to be, for sure!" His eyes are now dreamy, and his face takes on a light blush.

The journalist blinks. " Alright... Uh... How do you feel about your squad? Would you ever want to trade it in for another?"

The blush intensifies, and Jann violently shakes his head. " Not for the world, honey! I mean have you _seen_ all the men in this squad? They're all just pure hotness. " A glistening speck at the corner of his mouth indicates possible drool.

At that moment, Largo Potter is walking by, most likely to find Rosie or Isara, and is caught in the sights of Jann. In a second, the feminine soldier latches onto the burly soldier's arm, grinning widely at the surprise on Largo's face. " See what I mean?" Jann says, grabbing Largo's bicep and squeezing it between both hands. " It makes me swoon just by looking at it! " A drop of blood oozes from his nose.

" H-hey! Get offa me!" Largo says indignantly, trying to shake off the leech-like lancer without luck.

" Oh Largo, how ever do you even look at yourself without a shirt and stay sane? Mmm~" Jann says, in fantasyland, rubbing his head on the sleeve of Largo's uniform. He grasps the front of Largo's armor, pulling on it. " Just imagining...!"

" Uh, Mr. Walker-!" Ellet tries to capture the attention of the soldier. However, he completely ignores her.

" Jann, please, get off-! Are your hands glued on or somethin'?! Let go!" Largo protests heavily, trying to push off the clinging Jann.

" Nooooo~ It's impossible!"

" Get _off _ of me!"

" Ahhhh~ So warm~"

Largo looks at Ellet pleadingly. Clearing her throat, the blonde journalist finally catches the eye of the swooning lancer. " Mr. Walker!"

Finally Jann sees Ellet. Bolting upright and away from Largo, the blushing soldier quickly stammers out an embarrassed apology. " I'm sorry, Largo, I lost all control. Only for Largo," He glances longingly at Largo.

The weirded out Largo responds with a hasty " Yes, sure" and runs off before Jann can accost him once more. With a sigh, Jann turns to Ellet. " Sorry, honey. "

" Um, it's-it's fine... " The startled journalist breaks out of her state of shock, and goes to aim her next question at Jann when a voice interrupts her.

" Hey, Ellet, Jann. Have either of you seen my shirt? I seem to have misplaced it... I hope Hans hasn't run off with it again. " A shirtless Welkin with the bottom half of his torso wrapped in gauze walks over, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. " I was just over getting my wound bandaged when I realized it was gone. Er, Jann? Are you alright?"

Ellet, who had turned to look at the squad leader, looks back at Jann. Or, where Jann was. Instead of standing, the soldier is laying down on his back on the ground with blood pouring from his nose, looking dazed.

" Ahhh~ Heaven~" He moans.

Ellet facepalms and Welkin leans down to make sure Jann is alright, which only causes the dazzled soldier's condition to worsen. " I'll get the medic," He offers.

" No need," Ellet says dryly, shaking her head. " He'll be fine as soon as you're gone. "

" Wha-?"

" Just go. " She pushes him in the opposite direction. With a confused look, Welkin walks off.

Standing up unsteadily, Jann, now wearing stained armor, looks in the direction Welkin had wandered off to. " Normally I don't react this way to slimmer guys like him but... the shirtlessness caught me off guard. " He wipes his face on his sleeve. " Oh, dear... I just had this cleaned..."

" Riiiight. " Ellet says, feeling slightly amused but kinda irritated. _Is anything serious with this guy? He acts like a schoolgirl fangirling over their senpai in one of those shoujo-y anime shows!  
_  
Jann stands straight. " Anyway... you were saying before?"

" Well, I was going to ask if you-"

" Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaann!"

Ellet wants to toss her notebook to the ground with frustration as Alicia Melchiott runs over. The young girl's face is bright red.

" Oh, honey, what's wrong?" Jann asks with concern.

" W-well, nothing's _wrong,_ it's just, ah... did you see him? Welkin?"

" Yep. He's kinda hard to miss, running around half naked. " Ellet interjects.

If possible, Alicia's face becomes more crimson. " Oh, no! I thought he'd left it, and I took it to clean... I didn't realize he was still using it! "

" He went that way, sweetie. " Jann says with a smile, gesturing.

" Thanks Jann... Uh, what happened to your clothes?"

" Long story, " Jann smiles through the dried blood. " Go find Welkin. "

" Oh, right! Thanks!" Waving, the girl runs off to find the squad leader.

Taking a deep breath, Ellet turns to Jann. " Can I continue now?"

" Oh, yes, yes! The Squad's a busy place, with lots of interruptions. " Jann says with a laugh.

" I see that. " _I've never had so many interruptions with any of the other members, _Ellet thinks.

" So what would you like to ask?" Jann inquires.

With a sigh, Ellet tries for the third time. " Mr. Walker, I would like to ask... Um..."

To her complete and utter shock, the journalist realizes that during the events with Largo and Welkin, she has _forgotten __the important question she was going to ask. _

" Yes?' Jann asks, his kindly face looking a bit impatient.

" I, er-" Struggling, she tries to retrace her thought processes. _What was it...!?_

" Hey, Jann! Can you come over here and help me?" Homer Peron calls from a few yards away, waving. He's holding a wrench and his face has a few grease streaks on it. " I was trying to help Kreis fix up one of the tanks., but we need a little more manpower. "

" Sure thing, honey!" Jann calls back, and then turns to the distressed Ellet. " Sorry, duty calls! When you figure out what you wanna ask me, I'll be waiting!" He waves, and then starts off towards the cute blonde.

" W-wait...!" Ellet protests weakly, to no avail. " No... I _just _ got your attention..."

With a sigh of pure defeat, the journalist turns and walks away.

* * *

Late on that night, Ellet is rereading the notes she had taken during her interview of Jann. No matter how many times she goes over it, it all seems like a crazy mess.

Putting the papers down at her desk, she starts chuckling. _Even though I really didn't get anywhere..._

It sure was pretty hilarious to watch!

* * *

A/N: Okay, so this is a weiiiird fanfic. . But I did enjoy writing it. I hope all of you did as well! Also, Forbidden Love chapter 10 is under way, and I promise I'll get it done soon!

Read and review, tell me what you think! ^_^ I love hearing from my readers!

Disclaimer: I don't own Valkyria Chronicles or its characters. I just love to use them!


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